Today, I am not eager to write despite the alot of things to tell. I just want to do nothing again. I have to think and decide the way I am going to follow. Life mesans choices. We do not live the life, on the contrary we live our choices. Up to now I have lived the results of them. Today I choose my way after thinking what I desire to live. I am not in dreams any more. I know the results now.
I have two ways to go. My life is so valuable that I can’t jump without thinking. I will choose the new way or the known one . I was’nt happy in the second one. Maybe I can give a chance but I am very tired to do that. I am a brave person so I can decide to take the first one and discover a new soul and a new body. But the first one is familiar to me. I am used to live with it. Is it easy to get used to a new soul and body? Why are we afraid of unknown ? Why do we insist of staying at the familiar one despite being unhappy and feeling cheap?
I know that a person should not stay if there is unhappiness and tears. But we are addicted to feel depressive. But human does not consist of these negative feelings. We learn these in here, in this negative world.
I know these but sometimes I lose my way when the case is love. Love is very precious and I can not throw as if it is like a waste. But true love does not hurt. If we are injured, it is not a love, it is certainly a war. We should leave the battle field. Because if we did not leave it, we would be defeated. My love hurts me too much my mates. I have already lost . Can I start from the begining as if I did not live my lonely nights with tears from my eyes and my heart. Can I forget my feelings that made me grow up? I have so many damages. My soul is very tired to fight again. You see if I stay in the familiar one I will fight. I think I won’t choose this time. I deserve the peace and true love that will makes me feel rich.
Are you with me in my new way? Stay in touch with you.
I love you as I love myself, my new way and execitements…
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